I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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