so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
