The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
