Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
