Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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