How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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