Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
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If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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