are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
