My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
