I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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