so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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