I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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