you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
