Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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