My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
