I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Drunk is a universal language darling
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
