I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
