just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
It was a blind-side dick pic.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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