We're like a lot better than the average bears
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
