I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
