I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
