I just saw a hot homeless man
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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