you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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