so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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