It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
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I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
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What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize