I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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