Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
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Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
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I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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