even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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