Those balls look pretty dangerous.
In America we eat man semen.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
