Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
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Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
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Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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