You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
