Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
