i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
