I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
