i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
