just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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