I skipped work to stalk him.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Randomize
