I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
