am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
