During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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