PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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