I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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