Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize