dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
