we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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