She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
she woke up with a sticky ear
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Bring me that man meat
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
