Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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