Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
