Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
