normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
