Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
They have beer where we have blood.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
