He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
birth control should be required to get into college
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
