I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
