i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I just googled if crying burns calories
you inspire me to be a worse person
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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