I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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