ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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