my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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