You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
