is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
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