There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
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For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
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I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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